Friendship
Eccl. 4: 9-12 – “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not easily broken.”
Jesus knew the heartaches as well as dangers that lay ahead for His disciples. During His last hours, He spoke of the importance of loving one another and sustaining relationships.
Jn. 15: 12-13 – “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”
Shared adversity is the key to uncommon friendships. Jesus and His disciples shared adventure, uncommon stress and challenges - feeding the multitudes, challenging the Pharisees and their religious system, healing the sick, casting out demons, raising the dead. Jesus built relationships through shared adversity. Stressful circumstances reveal character and determine who can be trusted; strengths and weaknesses are identified so we can help one another develop and discover where we fit with other members of our team. Adversity also separates the talkers from the doers.
Ulysses S. Grant, Commander of Union Army during the Civil War and the 18th President, knew the value of friends forged during times of trouble: “The friend of my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” History has demonstrated this truth many times. One such example was EASY CO, 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne Division, US Army during WW II.
Historian Stephen Ambrose chronicled the war years of this unit in his book, “Band of Brothers” which was a factual account that covered their development in basic training at Camp Toccoa, GA through the D-Day assault in Normandy, Battle of the Bulge, and liberation of Europe, climaxing in the capture of Hitler’s Eagles Nest in Berchtesgarden.
Extraordinary accomplishments from an ordinary group of men fueled by a strong uncommon bond of friendship forged in the stress of combat. These men had devotion for one another, embraced common goals, and had an uncommon desire for excellence.
Easy Co. drew the key combat missions during the D-Day invasion of Normandy landing on Utah Beach. In combat, your reward for a job well-done is that you get the next tough mission. Easy Co. kept on getting the job done in Holland, Bastogne, and Germany. The stress of continued combat created a bond between the men that would last a lifetime. Many times wounded men of Easy Co. who were sent to military hospitals went AWOL from the hospital and found their way back to the front where Easy Co. was always located. They risked court martial as well as distained the safe-haven of a hospital environment to be back with men they could trust.
One soldier was Pvt. David Kenyon Webster, a well-heeled Harvard graduate who was wounded twice and both times returned to action with Easy Co. His parent’s wealth and influence could have rescued him from active combat duty, but he refused to allow them to save him from the dangers of the front lines. Webster was a man of books. He was sensitive, observant, thoughtful, and well-educated. He was thrown in Easy Co. with ill-educated mountain boys, southern farmers, coal miners, lumbermen, and fishermen – men with whom he had nothing in common and would have had no contact with in civilian life. Easy Co. was an unlikely group where Webster found his closest friends and identified with them in the hardest of environments. Twice he was wounded, when AWOL from the hospital and found his way back to his unit where there was freezing weather and sleeping in a foxhole constantly exposed to enemy fire. Such was the bond of friendship shared in Easy Co.
Easy Co. was constantly parachuted behind enemy lines to attack the Germans. Gen. George Patton bragged about his 3rd Army rescuing them from certain death at the Battle of the Bulge. Easy Co. never admitted they needed rescuing. They felt that being surrounded by the enemy placed them in a position where the Germans couldn’t get away! For Easy Co. it was all in a day’s work.
Physical pain, exhaustion, trench foot, exposure to freezing, wet conditions, no hot food, insufficient sleep, no sanitation, living in hastily dug foxholes, and fighting for their lives – all the while other soldiers from other units were wounding themselves to escape combat, Easy Co. soldiers did not allow their wounds to cause them to leave the war.
Easy Co. experienced comfort in the midst of suffering; December ’44 was Europe’s coldest winter in 40 years. Easy Co. did not even have winter issue clothing and they could not build fires. Two parkas were issued to every three soldiers. The middle man changed position every 20 minutes while trying to sleep in their foxholes.
Pvt. Don Malarke wrote in the summer of ’42: “So this was the beginning of the most momentous experience in my life, as a member of Easy Co. There is not a day that has passed since that I do not thank Adolf Hitler for allowing me to be associated with the most talented and inspiring group of men that I have ever known.” Every member of Easy Co. felt the same way despite the danger, stress, and difficulty – they would not trade anything for their friends who sustained them.
All this begs the question: what quality of friendships should we be experiencing in our Master’s service? Friendships are forged not found! Prov. 18: 24, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly. But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Friendships must be cultivated. In the natural realm cultivation requires plowing, planting, weeding, fertilizing, more weeding, harvesting. Any crop left unattended ceases to bear fruit. Indifference and inactivity will destroy any relationship.
Hindrances to quality relationships include:
· Hardheartedness - the best rule of friendship is to keep your heart a little softer than your head!
· Pr. 17:17 - “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
· We must exercise constant forgiveness to keep lifetime friendships.
· 1 Pet. 4: 8 - “And above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins.”
· Out of joint and needing an adjustment to bring your life back into proper alignment.
· 1 Co. 12:18 - “But now God has set the members, each one of them, in the body just as He pleased.” People have trouble making vital connections because they are in the wrong place – perhaps where there is no commitment or involvement. It is important to identify our place and be satisfied with where we belong.
· Wrong Concepts - Many churches have attempted to sustain relationships with rules and programs intended to bind people together. These fail to work because human agreement alone cannot hold a relationship together. If we are dependent on our own devotion and character to sustain friendships, they will fail. Only our dependence on God will enable us to remain faithful to our friends.
· Lack of Commitment - War-time soldiers were obligated to serve where they were commanded. Today there are too many spiritual deserters - people who have abandoned their posts when combat occurs. They often desert to find “greener pastures” and lose the place and position God had for them. Many leave wounded and never find a place for healing. Easy Co. soldiers who were wounded refused to leave. Part of “bearing our cross” involves being “wounded.”
· 2 Tim. 2: 3-4 - “You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. No one engages in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier.”
Those who understand the true nature of friendship understand that the devil will assault them; time will try them; familiarity will diminish them; but, humor will sustain them; forgiveness will protect them; and, wisdom will esteem them. We must have friendships! True unity and harmony will never occur if friendships are not forged in the furnace of adversity. Amen.
Eccl. 4: 9-12 – “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not easily broken.”
Jesus knew the heartaches as well as dangers that lay ahead for His disciples. During His last hours, He spoke of the importance of loving one another and sustaining relationships.
Jn. 15: 12-13 – “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”
Shared adversity is the key to uncommon friendships. Jesus and His disciples shared adventure, uncommon stress and challenges - feeding the multitudes, challenging the Pharisees and their religious system, healing the sick, casting out demons, raising the dead. Jesus built relationships through shared adversity. Stressful circumstances reveal character and determine who can be trusted; strengths and weaknesses are identified so we can help one another develop and discover where we fit with other members of our team. Adversity also separates the talkers from the doers.
Ulysses S. Grant, Commander of Union Army during the Civil War and the 18th President, knew the value of friends forged during times of trouble: “The friend of my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” History has demonstrated this truth many times. One such example was EASY CO, 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne Division, US Army during WW II.
Historian Stephen Ambrose chronicled the war years of this unit in his book, “Band of Brothers” which was a factual account that covered their development in basic training at Camp Toccoa, GA through the D-Day assault in Normandy, Battle of the Bulge, and liberation of Europe, climaxing in the capture of Hitler’s Eagles Nest in Berchtesgarden.
Extraordinary accomplishments from an ordinary group of men fueled by a strong uncommon bond of friendship forged in the stress of combat. These men had devotion for one another, embraced common goals, and had an uncommon desire for excellence.
Easy Co. drew the key combat missions during the D-Day invasion of Normandy landing on Utah Beach. In combat, your reward for a job well-done is that you get the next tough mission. Easy Co. kept on getting the job done in Holland, Bastogne, and Germany. The stress of continued combat created a bond between the men that would last a lifetime. Many times wounded men of Easy Co. who were sent to military hospitals went AWOL from the hospital and found their way back to the front where Easy Co. was always located. They risked court martial as well as distained the safe-haven of a hospital environment to be back with men they could trust.
One soldier was Pvt. David Kenyon Webster, a well-heeled Harvard graduate who was wounded twice and both times returned to action with Easy Co. His parent’s wealth and influence could have rescued him from active combat duty, but he refused to allow them to save him from the dangers of the front lines. Webster was a man of books. He was sensitive, observant, thoughtful, and well-educated. He was thrown in Easy Co. with ill-educated mountain boys, southern farmers, coal miners, lumbermen, and fishermen – men with whom he had nothing in common and would have had no contact with in civilian life. Easy Co. was an unlikely group where Webster found his closest friends and identified with them in the hardest of environments. Twice he was wounded, when AWOL from the hospital and found his way back to his unit where there was freezing weather and sleeping in a foxhole constantly exposed to enemy fire. Such was the bond of friendship shared in Easy Co.
Easy Co. was constantly parachuted behind enemy lines to attack the Germans. Gen. George Patton bragged about his 3rd Army rescuing them from certain death at the Battle of the Bulge. Easy Co. never admitted they needed rescuing. They felt that being surrounded by the enemy placed them in a position where the Germans couldn’t get away! For Easy Co. it was all in a day’s work.
Physical pain, exhaustion, trench foot, exposure to freezing, wet conditions, no hot food, insufficient sleep, no sanitation, living in hastily dug foxholes, and fighting for their lives – all the while other soldiers from other units were wounding themselves to escape combat, Easy Co. soldiers did not allow their wounds to cause them to leave the war.
Easy Co. experienced comfort in the midst of suffering; December ’44 was Europe’s coldest winter in 40 years. Easy Co. did not even have winter issue clothing and they could not build fires. Two parkas were issued to every three soldiers. The middle man changed position every 20 minutes while trying to sleep in their foxholes.
Pvt. Don Malarke wrote in the summer of ’42: “So this was the beginning of the most momentous experience in my life, as a member of Easy Co. There is not a day that has passed since that I do not thank Adolf Hitler for allowing me to be associated with the most talented and inspiring group of men that I have ever known.” Every member of Easy Co. felt the same way despite the danger, stress, and difficulty – they would not trade anything for their friends who sustained them.
All this begs the question: what quality of friendships should we be experiencing in our Master’s service? Friendships are forged not found! Prov. 18: 24, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly. But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Friendships must be cultivated. In the natural realm cultivation requires plowing, planting, weeding, fertilizing, more weeding, harvesting. Any crop left unattended ceases to bear fruit. Indifference and inactivity will destroy any relationship.
Hindrances to quality relationships include:
· Hardheartedness - the best rule of friendship is to keep your heart a little softer than your head!
· Pr. 17:17 - “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
· We must exercise constant forgiveness to keep lifetime friendships.
· 1 Pet. 4: 8 - “And above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins.”
· Out of joint and needing an adjustment to bring your life back into proper alignment.
· 1 Co. 12:18 - “But now God has set the members, each one of them, in the body just as He pleased.” People have trouble making vital connections because they are in the wrong place – perhaps where there is no commitment or involvement. It is important to identify our place and be satisfied with where we belong.
· Wrong Concepts - Many churches have attempted to sustain relationships with rules and programs intended to bind people together. These fail to work because human agreement alone cannot hold a relationship together. If we are dependent on our own devotion and character to sustain friendships, they will fail. Only our dependence on God will enable us to remain faithful to our friends.
· Lack of Commitment - War-time soldiers were obligated to serve where they were commanded. Today there are too many spiritual deserters - people who have abandoned their posts when combat occurs. They often desert to find “greener pastures” and lose the place and position God had for them. Many leave wounded and never find a place for healing. Easy Co. soldiers who were wounded refused to leave. Part of “bearing our cross” involves being “wounded.”
· 2 Tim. 2: 3-4 - “You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. No one engages in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier.”
Those who understand the true nature of friendship understand that the devil will assault them; time will try them; familiarity will diminish them; but, humor will sustain them; forgiveness will protect them; and, wisdom will esteem them. We must have friendships! True unity and harmony will never occur if friendships are not forged in the furnace of adversity. Amen.